On Spiritual Friendship

St Francis de Sales and St. Jane de Chantal

by Phil Soucheray*

The following was submitted by Visitation friend Phil Soucheray on the heels of his experience at the Salesian Spirituality evening, Monday, October 11, 2010. We welcome Phil as a guest blogger to these pages.

A group of Visitation friends is meeting monthly again this year for pot luck, fellowship and growth.  We got together last Monday night and were introduced to the theme for this year — “Spiritual Friendship.”

Now, this is a topic that has a lot of dimensions. That was clear just from the conversation that was generated among the 30 or so men and women who were on hand at the Girard house. Some of the clearest questions that seemed to surface included, what is the nature of spiritual friendship? How does it differ from other forms of friendship? What’s my experience of spiritual friendship? And how can I make it better? If that’s not a plateful I don’t know what is — all from just the first night. The good thing is we’ll have the benefit going forward of two masters of this form of friendship — St. Francis and St. Jane.

What is the nature of spiritual friendship?

As I reflect on the notion of spiritual friendship, I am immediately struck by those I count as friends in this area of my life. More and more, thankfully, there is Deb, my wife. I point to my mom, God rest her soul, who was an unabashed spiritual explorer throughout her life and wasn’t afraid to share her discoveries. And there’s my brother in faith, Bert, who has proven himself to be one who will stand my side, joyfully and prayerfully, in tough times. May I only hope I’m thought of the same way on his side.

But when it comes to the Visitation sisters in community on the north side, there is a unique lens that I love to look through. Never before have I had the privilege of getting to know a group of people who at once so clearly stand as a single social organism motivated by a shared desire to grow closer to God through community, but at the same time stand so clearly as individuals — each allowed, indeed encouraged, to be themselves and sharing their unique personalities with us.

Never before have I had the privilege of getting to know a group of people who at once so clearly stand as a single social organism motivated by a shared desire to grow closer to God through community, but at the same time stand so clearly as individuals — each allowed, indeed encouraged, to be themselves and sharing their unique personalities with us. – Phil Soucheray on the Visitation Sisters of North Minneapolis

Sr. Mary Virginia, VHM, Phil's Spiritual Mentor

I know some of the sisters perhaps better than others. But I love them each for the particular individuals that they are. Each presents to me a unique face of Jesus which inspires me to examine myself to see how I am doing in becoming a fully human, fully loving, person, acknowledging my known flaws and being humbly open to having those I’m not quite so sure of exposed for my improvement.

St. Francis and St. Jane teach that is through these types of encounters that God visits. I am certain they are right and I only pray that I‘m awake enough, moment to moment, to welcome the visitor when he, or she, comes.

Peace.

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Guest Blogger, Phil Soucheray

Phil is a St. Paul native with ties to Visitation that go back more than 40 years. He’s been married to Deb, a lass from Hastings, MN, for 32 years. He’s been engaged in his spiritual exploration for about 35 years, but wasn’t consciously aware of it until about 1985.  Currently, Phil participates in the Visitation Companions formation group meeting once a month at St. Jane house, in addition to the Monday evening Salesian Spirituality convenings. Sr. Mary Virginia serves as Phil’s spiritual mentor.